This weekend has a lot of boring match-ups. TOO MANY. The Patriots better have eaten their Gronk Flakes this morning – they’re going to need it against the Ravens tonight! MP
Date & Time Favorite Spread Underdog
9/23 1:00 ET At Chicago -7.5 St. Louis
I dare say that St. Louis has soul and they’re super bad. As in good.
9/23 1:00 ET At Dallas -8 Tampa Bay
Did you know that Ronde Barber’s first name is actually Jamael..? And that Romo’s is Tina!?
9/23 1:00 ET San Francisco -6.5 At Minnesota
Randy Moss returns to the city that drafted, traded, re-signed, and cut him. His TD celebration will be equal parts appreciation and bitterness.
9/23 1:00 ET Detroit -3.5 At Tennessee
Detroit can’t start games. Tennessee can’t finish games. I can’t pick games.
9/23 1:00 ET At Washington -3 Cincinnati
The ‘Skins lost Orakpo and Carriker for the season, while Pierre Garcon might miss a few more games. At least Josh Morgan will be available for another untimely penalty.
9/23 1:00 ET NY Jets -2.5 At Miami
Mark Sanchez hits on Ryan Tannehill’s wife during pre-game warm-ups. Tebow tries to be “one of the guys” and invites Mrs. Tannehill to Bible Study after the game.
9/23 1:00 ET At New Orleans -9 Kansas City
Do you think Sean Payton secretly loves that the Saints are winless without him…?
9/23 1:00 ET Buffalo -3 At Cleveland
Whoever loses this game must live a month in the winning teams’ city. That should motivate ‘em.
9/23 1:00 ET At Indianapolis -3 Jacksonville
Will Andrew Luck win more games in his first season w/ the Colts (3) than Peyton Manning did? Does Albert Haynesworth like donuts?
9/23 4:05 ET Philadelphia -3.5 At Arizona
Arizona shows this week that beating the Pats wasn’t a fluke. Mike Vick gets knocked out of the game.
9/23 4:05 ET At San Diego -3 Atlanta
Hotlanta blows by San Diego, the team with the stalest roster of the decade.
9/23 4:25 ET Houston -2 At Denver
Peyton’s happy feet are moving at an all-time high. That’s not a good thing for Denver.
9/23 4:25 ET Pittsburgh -4.5 At Oakland
A Mike Tomlin team will never be out-coached by Oakland.
9/23 8:25 ET At Baltimore -3 New England
“There is a prison in a more ancient part of the world, a pit where men are thrown to suffer and die. But sometimes a man rises from the darkness. Sometimes the pit sends something back.” Prison/pit/darkness = Raven Stadium; man = Patriots.
9/24 8:35 ET Green Bay -3 At Seattle
Green Bay’s D can’t stop a nosebleed, but it can stop Seattle.